The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers
to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supply a new
definition.
Here are this year's {2005} winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose
of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's, like, when everybody is sending off all
these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes
and it's, like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets
into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm
in the fruit you're eating.
